3 Months Old! ! ! ! ! ! !

Hello My Darling Aivleen,

Hard to believe that it's been a whole year plus one day since we conceived you. And now you're already 3 months old. I can not believe that you are so big! Time flies. I still remember the exact moment we learned that you were growing in my belly, I remember carrying you inside me and how happy I was. And now I'm even happier that you are here with us!

Every day is so much brighter with you. From the minute your little eyes open in the morning and you give Daddy and me that first cheery smile, you start my day off with my heart all a flutter. I look at you and think how lucky we are that we have you right beside us and realize I've never smiled bigger and so effortlessly when waking up. I am not a morning person. But now that I have you, I am and I don't even mind it.

I think everything about you is simply adorable. Even when you poop and throw up on me. Your messes make me smile and laugh.

You have been such a good baby and Daddy and I feel so fortunate. Yes, there have been moments but they are overshadowed by delight.

Your first moment was being so adamant about coming out to meet us. When you were a week late and it appeared that you were so comfy inside my belly, Dr Contro and Dana intervened and put us in the hospital to try and coax you out with medication. You wouldn't budge... you really liked it in there! Given the situation we were in, the two choices we had were to wait and try medicating again if you still didn't want to come out on your own in a few days or to intervene yet again and lift you out. We chose the latter for a few reasons, Dana's medical opinion, our selfishness because we were so eager to meet you, but most important, for your health and well-being since my placenta was beginning to calcify at the top. And as luck would have it, you were born on the same day as your cousin Alyssa, making Grandma's job of remembering her granddaughters' birthdays much easier! You also share the day with two of your other Weider side cousins, Lesley, who you've gotten to spend time with because she lives nearby and Larry, who happens to be her uncle.

I can remember laying on the table, numb, and asking Daddy when they were going to start the procedure because we were just SO excited to finally meet you. Little did I know because I didn't feel a thing, that they had already started. After 9+ long months, we didn't even know that you were a her, a she, our daughter. To be quite honest, we thought you were a boy. Even our nurse thought you were going to be a boy when she saw your heartbeat was in a low range, she said 70% of the time babies with lower heartbeats were boys and she saw how I was carrying, all in front. At that point, we were convinced.

Luckily, when I told this woman whom I had a brief encounter with a few days prior that I 'thought' you were a boy, she told me to think of girl names because she had a cousin, same build as me, carrying the same as me who had a girl. So Daddy and I narrowed down our choices. I remembered coming upon your name early on and thinking how different and pretty it was, especially when it was spoken by the Irish author, Frank McCourt, on the website. Well we revisited it and put it on our short list. It was either that or Shelby which your Dada was insisting on if we couldn't agree on anything else lol. Honestly, I can hardly remember what other names we came up with in the end because just as soon as we were all together as a family in the recovery room, Daddy and I both knew that you were our Aivleen... "wished-for" or "longed-for" child. And that was exactly what you were.

Three long years to get to where we were that day. Three long years of Dr visits, of needles, poking, prodding, surgeries, turkey basting, pills, crazy eating habits, yoga, meditating, acupuncture, giving up all the good stuff in life... alcohol, caffeine, sugar, cheese... oh, so much and oh, so worth it. I can't ever imagine what life would be without you. You were my destiny. No, the name Destiny was never on our lists, short or long. Only one career path for a girl with that name lol.

To our delight, Dr Contro pulled you out and Daddy got to see his little girl for the first time and stayed right by your side while they checked you out from head to toe to make sure you were ok. Leaving me all alone to get stitched up and ready for our union. And how sweet is was. You were just this perfect little angel in my arms. So tiny. So beautiful.

One of my best memories was sharing a beautiful moment with Daddy when we all got to our room. Such an emotional one filled with more tender love than I've ever felt. He was so proud of me and so happy to have a little girl. So funny seeing him hold you, so small in his big loving arms. He was great with you right from the start.

We spent 5 days of bliss in the hospital together. Ah, I loved the hospital. Like being in a hotel. I loved taking care of you right from the start. Changing your diapers, feeding you, holding you, sleeping with you in my arms. Just staring at you.

I remember when someone came in to give you your hearing test and I asked so many questions about how it would be administered and how you would feel about it. I wanted to make sure that no one hurt my little girl. Well, not only weren't you in any way hurt, but you passed that test with flying colors! The woman was quite impressed. And then this man came in to prick your foot for a test and I was so worried he was going to hurt you. Well the only one who was hurt was me. I shed a few tears but you handled it like a big girl.

Each morning, my Dr would visit me and your Doctors would visit you. We both were doing so well. I was healing nicely and you were growing, acting and behaving wonderfully.

Then it was time to go. I remember being so glad to leave because you do go a bit stir crazy being stuck inside but I just knew that I was going to miss it. Miss the nurses, the attention, the help! On your first day home, you went to a party on our block and got to meet the neighbors. On your second day home, you were the star of your own photo shoot. I followed all the rules to help you get ready for your close ups, fed you, removed your diaper and wrapped you up loosely in a blanket, warmed up the house... all things to make sure you would be sleepy but oh no, not you missy. You were a curious one. Tried your hardest to stay awake as much as possible. Making the photographer work for her money! She was a good sport and didn't even mind you pooping on her! It was a fun 6 hours. I hope you enjoyed it too!

After those first few days home, I really did miss the hospital, especially when Daddy was off to the east coast for work. That's when the hormones started kicking in and although I loved you with every ounce of myself, it was hard to take care of you all day and all night and being a new Mommy started taking its toll. Luckily, it didn't last long.

Things just got better. We started going for walks with Daddy and Stella. And even though we weren't on a schedule, we got into a routine. You and I would go to our support groups and I would get the encouragement and answers to the questions that I needed. We would spend most of our time at home, eating, sleeping, pooping. Then the visitors came and you got to go on field trips with your family. And then you grew up!

It's been a joy to see. At 2 months old, you were already so big. You were in the 50th percentile for your weight and the 90th for your height. And now, at 3 months, Daddy and I think you're over 12 pounds and taller than 2 feet.

to be continued...