3 Months Old! ! ! ! ! ! !

Hello My Darling Aivleen,

Hard to believe that it's been a whole year plus one day since we conceived you. And now you're already 3 months old. I can not believe that you are so big! Time flies. I still remember the exact moment we learned that you were growing in my belly, I remember carrying you inside me and how happy I was. And now I'm even happier that you are here with us!

Every day is so much brighter with you. From the minute your little eyes open in the morning and you give Daddy and me that first cheery smile, you start my day off with my heart all a flutter. I look at you and think how lucky we are that we have you right beside us and realize I've never smiled bigger and so effortlessly when waking up. I am not a morning person. But now that I have you, I am and I don't even mind it.

I think everything about you is simply adorable. Even when you poop and throw up on me. Your messes make me smile and laugh.

You have been such a good baby and Daddy and I feel so fortunate. Yes, there have been moments but they are overshadowed by delight.

Your first moment was being so adamant about coming out to meet us. When you were a week late and it appeared that you were so comfy inside my belly, Dr Contro and Dana intervened and put us in the hospital to try and coax you out with medication. You wouldn't budge... you really liked it in there! Given the situation we were in, the two choices we had were to wait and try medicating again if you still didn't want to come out on your own in a few days or to intervene yet again and lift you out. We chose the latter for a few reasons, Dana's medical opinion, our selfishness because we were so eager to meet you, but most important, for your health and well-being since my placenta was beginning to calcify at the top. And as luck would have it, you were born on the same day as your cousin Alyssa, making Grandma's job of remembering her granddaughters' birthdays much easier! You also share the day with two of your other Weider side cousins, Lesley, who you've gotten to spend time with because she lives nearby and Larry, who happens to be her uncle.

I can remember laying on the table, numb, and asking Daddy when they were going to start the procedure because we were just SO excited to finally meet you. Little did I know because I didn't feel a thing, that they had already started. After 9+ long months, we didn't even know that you were a her, a she, our daughter. To be quite honest, we thought you were a boy. Even our nurse thought you were going to be a boy when she saw your heartbeat was in a low range, she said 70% of the time babies with lower heartbeats were boys and she saw how I was carrying, all in front. At that point, we were convinced.

Luckily, when I told this woman whom I had a brief encounter with a few days prior that I 'thought' you were a boy, she told me to think of girl names because she had a cousin, same build as me, carrying the same as me who had a girl. So Daddy and I narrowed down our choices. I remembered coming upon your name early on and thinking how different and pretty it was, especially when it was spoken by the Irish author, Frank McCourt, on the website. Well we revisited it and put it on our short list. It was either that or Shelby which your Dada was insisting on if we couldn't agree on anything else lol. Honestly, I can hardly remember what other names we came up with in the end because just as soon as we were all together as a family in the recovery room, Daddy and I both knew that you were our Aivleen... "wished-for" or "longed-for" child. And that was exactly what you were.

Three long years to get to where we were that day. Three long years of Dr visits, of needles, poking, prodding, surgeries, turkey basting, pills, crazy eating habits, yoga, meditating, acupuncture, giving up all the good stuff in life... alcohol, caffeine, sugar, cheese... oh, so much and oh, so worth it. I can't ever imagine what life would be without you. You were my destiny. No, the name Destiny was never on our lists, short or long. Only one career path for a girl with that name lol.

To our delight, Dr Contro pulled you out and Daddy got to see his little girl for the first time and stayed right by your side while they checked you out from head to toe to make sure you were ok. Leaving me all alone to get stitched up and ready for our union. And how sweet is was. You were just this perfect little angel in my arms. So tiny. So beautiful.

One of my best memories was sharing a beautiful moment with Daddy when we all got to our room. Such an emotional one filled with more tender love than I've ever felt. He was so proud of me and so happy to have a little girl. So funny seeing him hold you, so small in his big loving arms. He was great with you right from the start.

We spent 5 days of bliss in the hospital together. Ah, I loved the hospital. Like being in a hotel. I loved taking care of you right from the start. Changing your diapers, feeding you, holding you, sleeping with you in my arms. Just staring at you.

I remember when someone came in to give you your hearing test and I asked so many questions about how it would be administered and how you would feel about it. I wanted to make sure that no one hurt my little girl. Well, not only weren't you in any way hurt, but you passed that test with flying colors! The woman was quite impressed. And then this man came in to prick your foot for a test and I was so worried he was going to hurt you. Well the only one who was hurt was me. I shed a few tears but you handled it like a big girl.

Each morning, my Dr would visit me and your Doctors would visit you. We both were doing so well. I was healing nicely and you were growing, acting and behaving wonderfully.

Then it was time to go. I remember being so glad to leave because you do go a bit stir crazy being stuck inside but I just knew that I was going to miss it. Miss the nurses, the attention, the help! On your first day home, you went to a party on our block and got to meet the neighbors. On your second day home, you were the star of your own photo shoot. I followed all the rules to help you get ready for your close ups, fed you, removed your diaper and wrapped you up loosely in a blanket, warmed up the house... all things to make sure you would be sleepy but oh no, not you missy. You were a curious one. Tried your hardest to stay awake as much as possible. Making the photographer work for her money! She was a good sport and didn't even mind you pooping on her! It was a fun 6 hours. I hope you enjoyed it too!

After those first few days home, I really did miss the hospital, especially when Daddy was off to the east coast for work. That's when the hormones started kicking in and although I loved you with every ounce of myself, it was hard to take care of you all day and all night and being a new Mommy started taking its toll. Luckily, it didn't last long.

Things just got better. We started going for walks with Daddy and Stella. And even though we weren't on a schedule, we got into a routine. You and I would go to our support groups and I would get the encouragement and answers to the questions that I needed. We would spend most of our time at home, eating, sleeping, pooping. Then the visitors came and you got to go on field trips with your family. And then you grew up!

It's been a joy to see. At 2 months old, you were already so big. You were in the 50th percentile for your weight and the 90th for your height. And now, at 3 months, Daddy and I think you're over 12 pounds and taller than 2 feet.

to be continued...

More visitors

Hello Aivleen,

Busy day today! You met your lil cousin Natalie, who came over the hill for a visit with her mom, Lesley, you and her go way back lol. And you met Ben and Nicole. I'm afraid of that Nicole - you really liked her a lot. Fell asleep in her arms. I thought maybe she was going to sneak you home with her but no such luck LOL, you are still here... and still sleeping... yay!

XOXO
Mommy

What a BIG girl you are!

Hello Aivey,

So many new things to tell you but just not enough time for me to elaborate. Your Momma is pooped and now that you're finally asleep, I need to follow along soon. If I could just get a good 8 hours of sleep on my tummy, I'd be so grateful but that's going to still be a few more months I'm sure of it. Next week, I have to bring my pump to the breastfeeding support group so I can learn how to use it and start freezing milk for you so you can have TJ when Mommy goes back to work. I still need to buy the pump but that's just a small technicality. My only hope is that the pumping goes well. Even tho, the lactation consultant says I need to store up all the milk for you for when I go back to work, I think with the very first few bottles, I'll let Daddy pull an all nighter so I can get those 8 hours in. There's that whole tummy thing too but just another technicality.

Ok, so baby firsts...

Tonight, you took your first big girl bath... yay!! I will post a video as soon as Dadda uploads. After your bath, you smelled like baby loves again. Especially after such a big spit up day. I think you're upset that we learned how big you're getting so quickly so you're trying to only digest the good parts of the TJ and get rid of the unnecessary stuff so you can stay tiny for a lil longer. On one hand, I do want you to be lil forever but on the other hand, I can't wait to see how you turn out, my lil beauty queen!

Yesterday, at the end of the group feeding session, you weighed 9 lb 8 oz. I can't believe how much weight you've gained, chubba wubba, in 3 short weeks (1 lb 12 oz), and that's with losing weight in your first 5 days! I guess you're doing a good job of eating and I shouldn't worry too much about your latch. You seem happy (and full) even tho you've started crying a lot more recently. Things are def much different than those happy hospital days. But I wouldn't give up any of it... nope!

On Monday, Uncle Jon, Cousin Alyssa, you and me went to Monterey Bay Aquarium. I must say you enjoyed it the least but without a doubt, you enjoyed the long car ride the best. I can't wait to go back to the aquarium with you and Daddy when you're a little older to watch you interact somewhat and enjoy it more. I know Daddy will love it there. But we definitely won't eat at Bubba Gump's Shrimp Factory... yuck!

On Sunday, we all went to play miniature golf. You and I didn't play. You slept, I kept score and kept my eyes on you! Everyone had a good time. Then in the evening, you got to meet your other cousin who shares your birthday. Lesley came over the hill and we all went to Henry's World Famous Hi-Life in San Jose for some good eats. You were a lil angel over dinner, didn't even need to eat, just let me enjoy a good NY steak... yum! Lesley was smitten with you and I can't wait for her to come back with Natalie and get to know you better. Hopefully, soon after that we'll get to spend more time coastside with her lil godson who is due very soon. This might be love!!

Ok, well I think I got everything covered. I need to find a better way of tracking all your firsts. Deciding between creating a website or getting a baby book or both. We'll see. For now, this will have to do.

I love you my lil Aiveykins! I'm such a happy Momma! You make me so happy to be your Momma!

XOXO
Mommy

Smile, you're on candid camera!

Hello Baby Aivey,

You, my darling dear, smiled at Daddy this morning! Your first awake smile... cheese!

Now smile at me... I only carried you for 41 weeks and 2 days and went thru abdominal surgery for you :)

XOXO

Mommy

Shedding Tears

Hello Baby Aivey,

Another big day of firsts at just 18 days big!!

Last night Daddy noticed that your eyes were very watery and it got us thinking that you're going to start crying any day now and today was that day... we saw your very first tears... boo-hoo! I even caught one on a q-tip to save. Not that anyone, including you, would ever know but it's just a reminder for me of your firsts. Daddy brought me the q-tip and I swabbed the tear from the corner of your right eye during TJ time while we were in the glider chair.

I don't like to see you cry... it makes me so emotional. I wish you didn't like to cry either but so far that is not the case. You had a few fussy times today where those tears were shedding. Oh, my lil heart.

Today you also went on your first outing to eat with Daddy, Uncle Jon, Alyssa and me. We went to Bill's Cafe for a late breakfast (there's no early with you... it takes forever to get out of the house with only you, add 4 people taking showers... oy!). For the most part it went well. You didn't sleep on the way there which was strange and then you wanted to eat while we waited for our table so I went to the car with you and fed you for a bit. But then later on, just about the time my food came of course, lol, you wanted to eat some more and after Mommy chowed down while Daddy held you for a bit, I had to bust out the TJ in public for the first time. Except for a quick nip slip at the end, I must say it went pretty well. Glad I'm over that!

You are really such a good lil baby. You just have your moments. If you weren't mine and so cute, your moments would bother me much much more than me just feeling helpless but I'm enjoying every minute and getting used to your likes and dislikes so we can maintain good lil baby status for as long as possible.

I'm looking forward to more of your firsts and just figuring out this whole Mommy Baby thing as we go along. Must say, this is the best adventure of my life! I love you sweet'ums!

XOXO
Mommy

Family Time

Hello Aivey,

Yay, your first visitors! Yesterday, your Uncle Jon and cousin Alyssa arrived in town. You were so overcome with excitement that you could hardly contain your lil self. You got so many new hugs and kisses and oohs and aahs. Ah, to be the baby of the family... and for me to be your proud Momma... what joy!

Alyssa is completely enchanted with you. All she wants to do is be near you, look at you, hold you, kiss you. She loves spending every minute with you while you are awake and asleep. She helped push your stroller when we took a walk to the store, helped with your bath... she sure does make a great lil mother's helper.

I think between meeting the new moms and their babies Thursday morning at our new moms group and then your family in the afternoon, you were overstimulated and didn't want to stick to your usual routine of diaper changing, eating and sleeping. Instead, you decided to have your first... hmmm... how do you say... tantrum, maybe. I just think that meeting so many new people in such a short time after you've really only been with Daddy and me for your first 16 days, you were a lil overwhelmed... understandable. We finally got you settled in quite late I might add and Mommy and Daddy managed to get a few hours sleep while the rest of your family was snoozing and snoring away to get on Cali time. And that they did... at least enough to go up to the city for a fun filled touring/exploring day and come back here to enjoy an even more fun filled night with Chinese and family fun time!

Today you were much better, altho in the morning, I got nervous when you and I were alone in the house and I started to shower and heard you start to wail. Luckily, it didn't last long and you put yourself to sleep. Otherwise, today has been the usual... lots of TJ time, diaper changes, sleepy sleepys, a quick stroll thru the hood, sponge bath time, and a great few hours in your new vibrating bouncy chair that Daddy and I got for you at Target the other day, which you LOVE!

I have to remember to get pictures of you with your New York family who loves you very very much!

XOXO
Mommy

Bee Bo!

Hello Baby Aivey,

15 days old today and you (finally) lost your umbilical cord... Yay!! In a couple of days, it will be bath time... Yay!! Hopefully you can take your first bath with your cousin, Alyssa, whom you share a birthday with, while she's here visiting. She and your Uncle Jon are coming tomorrow all the way from New York with bagels and Girl Scout cookies to meet you. Should be a fun few days.

Yesterday, on your 2 week birthday... Yay!!... You and I had a day of firsts. First, you went on your first (of many I'm sure) Starbucks walks with Daddy and me. Then in the afternoon, you and I took our very first car ride together. We went to a breastfeeding support group and learned a few good tips for us to make this experience more enjoyable for both of us. I think it should be mandatory for all high school teenage girls to take a breastfeeding class... Actually I think all women should be required to get some sort of diploma in the field before having children. By far one of the hardest things to master. And in the hospital they kept saying how well I was doing but no one actually looked at your latch, which is what needs great improvement. Anyway, I think with a little more practice we'll be experts!

Unfortunately, at the end of class, the lactation consultant saw your diaper rash and alarmed me that she thought it was yeast. Well your crazy mother rushed you straight across the street to the pediatrician who agreed and got us both on meds to clear it all up. We've both been taking the meds diligently and your bum is starting to look better already. Hopefully this is the first and last time this happens. At least now we know what to look for and how to treat.

Oh, another first today was just you and I taking a walk to Safeway to pick up a few things. It was a little chilly but you were bundled up nicely in a lil bunny outfit including a blanket and topped off with Gramma Linda's hand knitted warm white, pink and purple blanket and pink hat. Just realised I should be taking more pics of you. You looked so cute and once we got moving, you passed out and just enjoyed the trip.

Hmmm... I also need a memory book...

XOXO
Mommy

A Day of Firsts

Hello Aivey,

What a great day! Daddy is back from his business trip and we got to spend the whole day together as a family. It was sooo nice!!

After a hectic morning and a delicious breakfast topped with my first decaf latte in years thanks to Daddy and Starbucks, we were on time for your first pediatrician appointment this afternoon (since our stay in the hospital). What a relief it was that it went well, very well in fact. You are back to your starting weight... born 7 lb 12.4 oz... and in this corner... Aivleen Fitzgerald weighing in at 7 lb 12.4 oz! Whooo-hooo! Makes Mommy so happy knowing that you have been eating well, no matter how painful it sometimes is. Hopefully no more Dr appts until your 2 month visit at the beginning of June - which Daddy has to come to because you are getting shots and I just know I'm going to be a basket case... ARGH!

Then later in the afternoon, we took you for your first walk... with big sister Stella. She was so excited to be out with all of us, I think she's really starting to like you ;)

We went for a late lunch at Eric's Deli and got the opportunity to sit outside since it was such a beautiful Spring day. Then we ran some errands at the drug store and supermarket in our local shopping center. Unfortunately, Stella got most of the attention from passersby... I know that once you're out of your shielded stroller, you will be showered with compliments but no one can see you all tucked away, not to mention people seem to have a love for bulldogs... but you are much too pretty for people not to notice!

So, speaking of all things first, here is the first modeling picture of our family taken on the 6th day of your lil life...


This picture makes Mommy SO SO happy!!! I love you all SO much. I just look at you, my darling, and my heart melts. All I can think of is that Daddy and I made you with SO much love. It's like we took a piece of our hearts out, joined them together, added 2 arms and 2 legs and there you are! Sugar and spice and everything nice!

I'm so glad I did something, in this life... or a past one, to deserve you. Without a doubt, you have completed me and I will love you forever unconditionally.

To end the day, we received another beautiful present. Your very first personalized baby blanket. I can't even describe how beautiful it is. You can thank your cousins, Barbara and Gerry, when you meet them in June, just by being you... a happy, good lil baby.... my baby!

XOXO
Mommy

One Week Old Today

Hello Aivleen,

My sweet, sweet girl...

A week ago, we finally got the chance to meet you and it's been nothing but love and joy since. You have made me and Daddy SO happy with your sunny disposition, looks of curiosity and pure beauty. We are smitten. We couldn't have asked, wished or hoped for a greater gift. From the time Daddy's voice cracked announcing you as a girl, to the outpouring of love and good wishes from your family and friends, to all the kind words and support from the nurses, to your easy going, laid back personality, to bringing you home and transitioning you to our world, to your sweet demeanor, we have considered ourselves so lucky.

Things don't always go as planned - from thinking for months on end that you were a baby boy and your arrival not going smoothly - but in the end, planning isn't what's important. The journey, the adventure, the connection, the future... taking care of you, nurturing you, teaching you, loving you... that's what's important. We cherish you and every moment we've shared, share and will share with you as we raise you to be our daughter, a good person, a strong woman... a star that shines bright in this world.

We've wished for you, longed for you and now our wishes have come true and we long no more, for we have our lil'Aibhlinn.

Thank you for the greatest week of our lives. We can't wait for the weeks to multiply.

XOXO
Mommy

Is 41 our lucky number?

Hello Baby,

You are a week late now...

Daddy bought a new video camera today for your imminent arrival...

Hurry. Up. Please. Thank. You.

XOXO
Mommy

Diamonds are a girl's best friend

Hello Baby,

In just a few minutes March will be out like a lamb. That makes you 4 days late... so far. So... looks like you are going to be our diamond baby... Mommy loves diamonds! April's birthstone is diamond and you are going to be born in April. When in April who knows?!! You seem to be very comfy so no telling when we'll get to meet you.

We're so excited tho. Today we bought a room darkening blind for Mommy and Daddy's bedroom so we can start teaching you the difference between night and day right away. And Daddy put your Moses basket together. This is where you will sleep for the first bit of your life. The height is perfect... when I'm laying down in bed, I'll be able to look right at you my cutie. All swaddled, sleeping so peacefully and being such a good baby, aaaahhh, a Mother's dream!

So everythings ready... Just need my lil hunny bunny to make our lives complete and fill our home with even more love!

XOXO
Mommy

Still Bakin'

Hello Baby,

You are now 3 days late for the party! I think your timer should have popped by now... can you please stop bakin' and come join the party... everyone is patiently waiting for you. Thank you baby tot.

XOXO
Mommy

Tardy For The Party

Hello Baby,

Well, you are officially late, today is negative one. So you are tardy for the party! Great, taking after your Mama already with the tardiness, tsk tsk.

As if getting here wasn't hard enough after years of trying to connect with you, now it's just as hard for us to meet you. After we saw Dana today and decided we would just wait it out a while longer, Daddy and I walked up to the park, climbed some stairs and had little talks with you pleading with you to come out. Those talks will continue until you decide to listen and grace us with your presence.

I finished all your laundry and besides for a mattress and bedding for it, your room is all ready for you, lil baby. Now we need to focus on our bedroom where you'll be shacking up with us for a few months. Probably should have completed that first but your nursery is so cute that we couldn't resist. And for the first little bit, all you really need is your moses basket set up and a room darkening blind put up so Daddy can knock that out quick.

I can't decide if I should pack or not. On one hand, packing could be just that lil boost to tell you I'm all ready so please come and make us a happy family but on the other hand, you could take it as 'ha ha, your bags are packed and ready to go, but I'm not!'

Well, I'll let you bake a lil longer but not as long as Daddy and Ryan baked because they cooked so long that their skin starting peeling. I don't want that to happen to you. You're scheduled for pictures 6-7 days after your birth and you need to be picture perfect ready.

Same drill tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that if you don't come... walk... stairs... walk... and talk, beg and plead with you to come out.

Come out my love, Momma and Dadda want to meet you soooo badly!!

XOXO

Mommy

Happy Due Date To Nobody

Hello Baby,

If I start to labor very very very soon and you are one of the fastest born babies ever, then there's still a chance you will be born on your due date. But you only have 3 hours and 15 minutes so I'm going to say "no way, Jose!". The wait shall continue...

If you come tomorrow, you will share the same birthday as Lady Gaga, who is one of the most famous, fascinating, iconic pop stars happening these days. I believe that you will know who she is when you are a teenager... she will still be around singing, dancing, songwriting and fashioning... oh no, a teenager... you! If age doesn't make me older, then your teenage years sure will... especially if you are anything like I was. Let's just say, hopefully you will take after Daddy! Someday when you're old enough, I will tell you all about my crazy teenage adventures. Well, at least the parts I want you to know! =)

While I wait to meet you, I'm just keeping as busy as possible. Today, we went to yoga, walked around Target trying to stock up as much as possible on stuff before you come so I don't have to send Daddy out too much when you and I are home, took a long walk round the hood with Daddy and Stella, did more laundry, cleaned, ate yummy homemade roast and now... finally... relax'n! Aaaaah!

Plan on doing most of the same tomorrow and everyday until you finally arrive. Tomorrow, we see Dana and check up on your progress. I hope you will make your grand entrance at a time that's good for her... we would really like her to be the one who brings you into the world. And a sunny world it's going to be this week... my baby is going to be born on a beautiful spring day... yay! Just don't come on Friday... I don't want anyone to ever call my baby an April Fool's baby... no way, Jose!

XOXO
Mommy

ONE!

Hello Baby,

♫ ♪ Our baby is due
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
No baby comes! ♪ ♫

♪ ♫ Just thinking about
Tomorrow
Doesn't make me nervous,
Worried or scared
'Til you're here! ♫ ♪

♫ ♪ When I feel you come
That's great,
And painful,
I'll just labor and pray
And curse,
And say,
Ouch! ♪ ♫

♪ ♫ The baby will come
When it wants
I just gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
We'll see what tomorrow brings! ♫ ♪

XOXO
Mommy

Me and You Makes Two...

Hello Baby,

There are only 2 more days left till Mommy's due date! And I have 2 hopes for you... health and happiness :)

XOXO
Mommy

Three Days and Three Small Words

Hello Baby,

I can't believe it, just 3 more days till your due date. Will you be on time is the question? I told Grandma Gladys tonight that I am definitely expecting you to be a late arrival. That's just how your Mommy rolls!

Daddy and I picked up a few more last minute items for you and I washed more of your clothes today. I can not stand how cute all your little clothes are. All I did was smile while folding your socks and mittens, they are the cutest things ever. Ooh, I can't wait to see your lil fingers and toes and kiss each and every one of them - hopefully 10 of each!

All I have left to say/write tonight to you is three small words... I LOVE YOU!

XOXO
Mommy

1-2-3-4!

Hello Baby,

Four more days to go! We went into the office today to say goodbye and you were well behaved but I didn't think I was going to get the chance to go. Late last night, I thought you were getting anxious to meet us too... you were kicking up a storm. I had fallen asleep but you couldn't sleep, so you woke me up. In turn, I woke Daddy up from his nappie on the couch to come stay with me. We watched you for a while, movin' and groovin' around my belly, and tried to videotape it but every time Daddy started recording, you stopped. Camera shy? Stella does the same thing - whenever we try to get her on video, she stops and just stares at the camera. I hope you don't mind the camera when it comes time to take your newborn pics... ooh, they are going to be so cuuuute!

One step closer to having everything ready for your arrival - Daddy installed your car seat tonite with Samir. We just need Peter to give it the fireman blessing and then we can bring you home safe and sound... yay! Hopefully the day we bring you home in it, the sun will be out. So I think that means you can't be early because the rain isn't supposed to stop until Sunday. Which will give me plenty of time to finish things up around here and try to get some relax'n done! Don't think you'll let me relax for a good 18 years or so. Be great if you're a good napper like me and Daddy!

XOXO
Mommy

Mambo Number Five

Hello Baby,

One, two, three, four, five... lil' baby in the belly so come on let's go... to the hospital down in San Jose.

Five more days to go! For a while there, I thought tonight might be the night. Nothing painful but you were kicking up a storm... get me outta here! But a nice hot shower calmed you down and once again, you are content.

Please stay that way tomorrow since I need to drive up to the office to wrap things up and last thing I want to do is drive in the rain with you trying to get out. Eh, I still think you're going to be a late arrival. You're just going to keep us in suspense. It's getting so hard to wait patiently. I want to meet you so badly. I want to know if our firstborn is our first son or our first daughter.

Yesterday, a woman asked me if I knew what I was having, obviously she and I both know I'm having a baby (duh), but wanted to know if you were a boy or a girl. I gave her my standard answer of no but I think it's a boy and she wasn't convinced! She told me her cousin looked just like us when she was pregnant and everyone thought boy but she had a girl. So now I'm back to being super curious. We're going to get on those girl names ASAP!

XOXO
Mommy

6 days till due date... that's less than a week!

Hello Baby,

I'm starting to believe that first babies are usually late. Even though you still have 6 more days to make your appearance, I just don't get a good feeling that we will meet you that soon. Hopefully I'm wrong but so far no sign of you. Mommy is not dilated or effaced and you are not engaged. I learned all this at our appointment with Dr C today. But things can change quickly at this stage so I'm just gonna go with the flow and see how it goes. I got a few tips from the ladies at the Dr office on how to bring on labor so we'll see how they all work out.

XOXO
Mommy

Lucky #7 ???

Hello Baby,

No sign of you yet. No sign of the other 3 ladies babies who were at yoga this morning and were all due today. I went to class thinking I was going to be the center of attention but by the time I announced that I was a week away, all 3 ladies told their news, so I was overlooked. That's not a bad thing... I don't enjoy being the center of attention, neither does Daddy... well, sometimes he does.

I hope no one ever overlooks you, you will always be the center of our attention. Maybe not tonight but sometime soon!! :)

XOXO
A very tired Mommy

Eight more days to go...

Hello Baby,

Still have a few hours left of day eight to go but even though as I sit here typing and feeling you and seeing you, I don't think we'll be meeting you tonight so I am predicting that the countdown will continue. Could tomorrow, day 7, be the lucky day?

Uncle Jon asked me today if I was excited and/or nervous. My response was that I am both and a little scared. Obviously, I am excited. I've been thinking about you, wanting you, longing for you since before I was even pregnant with you, and now that we're thisclose, how could I not be SUPER excited?!

But I'm nervous too. A little bit about the actual birth but more so about once you are here. I'm nervous about being a good Mommy and taking care of you. It all seems like so much - the feedings, the changings - but my saving grace is that there are teen moms all over the world, not just on MTV, who manage to do a good job. I have no doubt that Daddy and I can do it too but thinking about it definitely creates a lot of anxiety. I just want everything to go smoothly but I also need to realise that some of these things take time to perfect.

And that's where the scariness comes in too. I'm scared about that what if. What if something does go wrong. What if you don't latch, will you starve. What if the house has more problems, will you get asthma. What if we don't hear you cry when we're asleep, will you choke. What if Stella doesn't like you, which one of you will we get rid of. What if we can't figure out this parent thing. What if, what if. Ah, this is simply fear of the unknown which I'm sure is common but I know I will overcome it.

I believe that our unconditional love for you will conquer all these emotions. We already love you so very much that I'm sure we can do it. It's just going to take patience and flexibility and team work. We will work hard at raising you to be you. Hopefully that transpires you to be a happy-go-lucky child and a smart, kind, honest, responsible blah blah blah, just a plain ole good big people person. But for now, I'll just be happy knowing that you are healthy, well fed, well cared for and loved, loved, loved.

XOXO
Mommy

9... Mommy's Favorite Number!

Hello Baby,

Yay, the countdown is on... just 9 more days till my due date! I'm sure most people would start the countdown at 10 but my favorite number is 9, because my birthday is 9-9, so I'm starting it today :-)

While you were kicking me in my tummy today, I asked you to give me a sign, one kick that you'll arrive on the day, two if early, three if late. You did not listen... ugh, I'm sure that's a sign of things to come, ha ha. Then as Daddy and I were driving tonight, we saw what appears to be a full moon and an old wives tale or some mad scientist made up this nonsensical theory about the gravitational pull and cycle of nature claiming that more women go into labor during a full moon. Well, that full moon is actually tomorrow night so I plan on getting a lot of stuff done during the day, just in case all those old wives are right!

As busy as I plan on being tomorrow, I feel like I've been busy all week. Today, I washed all your clothes. OMG! They are so teeny - teeny tiny itty bitty. I can't even imagine putting you in the newborn size. They seem like preemie clothes to me. If you don't come before Monday, I am going to buy you some next size up clothes because with the cloth diapers, I'm not sure these are going to fit over your bum!

Tonight, I got a haircut, need to pamper myself before you fully take over our lives, and then we picked up a changing table for you. Your nursery is almost complete and it's SO cute. Daddy did such a good job. You can see for yourself...

Baby Fitz Nursery

Last night, we attended taking care of a newborn baby class. I got to watch Daddy diaper a doll. Funny stuff. I hope he treats you better than the doll LOL. The class had its moments. The teacher nurse thought she was funny, but she wasn't. Daddy and I are much funnier but he was tired so class was pretty boring.

We also went on a tour of the hospital this week. It was older than I expected it to be but not as old as your new pediatrician's office. Wow, welcome to the 70s. But the Dr is young, pretty and nice so we're going to see how it goes.

If you don't come during the full moon, then we resume normal activity - yoga on Sunday morning, Dr on Monday. I'm still waiting for that sign if you feel like giving it to me!

XOXO
Mommy

2 more weeks but please not tonite!

Hello Baby,

Well, we're almost there! You're due 2 weeks from today but like I said before, I've heard there's always a chance the first will be late. I'm soooo excited to meet you that I've decided I don't want you to be late, I'll be sure that we are set for you to come home in 2 weeks - at the minimum, Daddy needs to install the car seat, complete the cord blood papers, and put your moses basket next to my side of the bed, I have to place our diaper order, fill out all my leave and hospital paperwork, and pack for us, the world won't stop if everything else on the lists isn't done. I just can't take the suspense any longer!

But you can't come today or tomorrow morning or tomorrow early afternoon... no no no! Daddy had to go out of town for the night for a hearing tomorrow and he won't be back until after our appointment with Dana tomorrow so you just have to wait... please, please wait.

Speaking of Dana, I'm excited to see her tomorrow. After I tell her how many Braxton Hicks contractions I had yesterday, hopefully she'll check to see if I'm dialated and effaced. This will give us an idea of your lil birthdate.

Before the cramps started yday, Daddy and I went to the movies in the theater. Probably the last time we're going to get a chance to do that for a while and then when we do get to go, it'll most likely be baby animated movies. Daddy can't wait till we can all go to natural world learning type of movies - those about life in the ocean and cool stuff like that. It'll be a change from the drama and comedies we usually see. But it's a new era... it's... parenthood! And hopefully we'll be the greatest, most fun, caring, loving parents ever! I think you're going to be one of those kids that all your friends want to come to your house because your parents are awesome :-)

XOXO
Mommy

Sooo much to tell you... and show you!!!

Hello Baby,

Today I realized that in no more than 3 weeks 3 days (hopefully less as I'm due in 2 weeks 3 days but they say the first usually comes late and Dr C won't let me go longer than a week late) you will be here with us, your Mommy and Daddy, making us a family of 3 (or 4 with Stella, who is going to quickly find out that she is not our one and only baby any longer, pobre cita!)! The family that we've wanted for so long now is SO close. As excited as I am, I think anxiety has taken control of Mommy's body and brain. There is still so much to do and as Daddy just put it to me, our lives will never be the same. That feeling makes him anxious but makes me really happy because I just can't wait to be your Mommy! I can't wait for them to put you in my arms, so I can hold you close, look lovingly at you for the first time and count your fingers & toes and goo and gaa over you. I think I'll even let Daddy hold you for a few minutes ha ha ha.

As tired as I am, I just have to troop through it, organize myself with my lists, complete all the last minute projects and baby shopping, and get our home sweet home ready for your impending arrival. I also need to get back to yoga and start walking. See there's so much to do, AAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Ok, breathe, no stress... In, out, In, out...

Whoosh, now that that's off my chest, I can tell you all about the wonderful happy things that took place this past weekend when your Gramma Linda came out for a visit. She put together a virtual baby shower for us, surrounding us in person and via phone and webcam by those closest to us whom all got to share in our joy. We were lavished with so many great presents for you. It was a nice afternoon filled with family, friends, excitement, good food, great cake, love, little people, furry ones and a ton of fun.

My very good friend, Yvonne, flew up from LA to be with us at the shower, crazy sweet of her and she even took some maternity pics of us as an extra special treat. Look at the almost 3 of us!

And then on Sunday, Daddy and Gramma started work on the nursery so we have a place to keep all the thoughtful, generous gifts. The theme of your nursery is farm animals. I am obsessed! I think it's going to be SO cute. I will post pics when complete which hopefully will be soon. There's just a few things we are waiting for in the post and some things that I still need to order - like a mattress, even though you won't be sleeping on it for a while. Grandma Gladys bought you a Moses basket so you can be right next to me for the first few months while we wake up every 2 hours for your feedings... I think I'm well prepared for the lack of sleep and waking up so much since I haven't gotten a good nights sleep in longer than I care to remember - mostly due to all the bathroom trips. Ah, the joys of pre-parenthood. Guess it'll be a while before I can get my oh so very missed 8-10 hours of blissful sleep.

At least tomorrow I get to lay on my stomach! Soooo looking forward to my massage! An hour of pure heaven!

And as always, so looking forward to meeting you, my sweet love. Soon, very very soon.

XOXO

Mommy

Childbirth 101

Hello Baby,

Today, Daddy and I went to child-birthing class, with our coughs in tow, to learn all about welcoming you into the world. I marveled at our teacher who gave birth to her two large 9 pound daughters au naturale. I'm not so scared that you very well could be this big anymore. Just gotta wiggle my hips to make room for you to come down and out. She gave other good tips to help speed things along to try to deliver without any pain meds - and after holding all that ice, ouch, I definitely think I can make it to the transition stage without any medical intervention. And I figure if I come that far, I can go all the way. Altho, transition does sound very scary, but it's short so I just have to keep thinking, "I think I can, I think I can". Then it'll just be up to you and me to not only think we can but to get it done, sweet pea.

I took good notes which is a good thing because it was information overload and I've already forgot about some positions and confused early labor ones with later ones. But good thing we have your Daddy, whom I plan on doing a lot of slow dancing with, with you just begging to come out between us, to help remind me to change positions every 4 contractions and get thru them with reassuring words and love. I know I'm going to like any position where my back can get a nice rub down :-)

And I'll def remember to stay off my back... laying on back = bad, you laying on back when you are a itty bitty thing = good, very good. I also have to remember to pack my notes... doh!

I think I can do this thing!!! I hope you can too, my love. As of tomorrow, just 4 more weeks... YAY!!!

XOXO
Mommy

False Alarm

Hello Baby,

Well, well. Seems like a little someone just might want out. And seems like a big someone just might want those drugs after all when the real time comes.

No more false labor pains, please. It's very painful. Boo-hoo. Be a good baby, and only knock again when it's time to come down the shoot.

So happy your Daddy was here to help me get thru it. He was a great coach! Googled what to do, helped me keep calm, didn't show any fear, so helpful. Even read you a lil story which seemed to calm you down as well. Love him!

And we love you too but an hour and a half of cramping and tightening in my tummy is not loving behavior, esp in the wee hours of 340am, unless it's the real deal so please, I'll say it again my dearest, next time make sure it's the real time and I say this lovingly (and sarcastically too since I already know that you have a beautiful mind all your own!). Besos bebe :-*

XOXO
Mommy

Mama Bear Is Sick... again :(

Hello Baby,

I have to apologize for all the extra movement you must be feeling. I've got this wicked cough that just won't quit. It makes my head pound and my ribs are so sore from it. Maybe you like it, could feel like a roller-coaster or something. But I don't like it and I need to get rid of it by Sat so I can go to childbirth class.

I also can't eat or sleep, which is making me even more grumpy. And I have no energy to get the last bits of my house organization projects completed. I won't tell you about the nausea :(

A prayer to the baby spirits - please, please make me better.

XOXO
Mommy

Big Momma, Big Baby!

Hello Baby,

YES! YAY! HOORAY! You were a cooperative little one today! Last heart ultrasound, which you passed with flying colors, and last 4D... here you are... lips and all :)

I think you look a bit like Daddy, I don't see me at all. We definitely can't tell if you're a girl or a boy here. Only time will tell at this point (and not much more of that!)

And only time will tell how big you will be. At Monday's Happy Valentine's Day/engagiversary ultrasound, you measured 90% bigger than all other babies at this stage. So they need to check your progress in another 3 weeks. I hope you slow down sweet 'ums. I went from electing a c-section, to natural, to thinking even no epidural, I'll be so upset if I have to go back to a "c" at this point but no 9 or 10 pound baby will make it out of me. (My tight canal - a nod to Aunt Jenny LOL). No way Jose!

Your size explains my size. Your Momma is HUGE! 25 pound of baby and all its workings that I hope to all leave in the hospital before we come home to meet Stella.


One request before we ask a million things of you in life, please, please, please stop growing b/c I just can't grow anymore. I'm not complaining, well I am, but not to you at least, just Dada ha ha. The protruding belly is causing me terrible back aches and I have so much to do before you're here. We are SO busy between getting the house ready for you, deciding what to do with your room (to mural or not to mural, that is the question), working, trying to sleep, living life, and playing with your crazy big sister. I think she's just as anxious for you to join our family as us because she has so much pent up energy that she's taking out on her pillow - at least we're getting to crack up watching her drag it around the house, jump on it, and do naughty things to it. I can always use a good laugh.

Speaking of pillows, all I want is mine all day and all night. If only I could get a good night's sleep without waking up to go to the bathroom zillions of times. Another request, please stop pressing on my bladder, my love.

At least long enough for me to enjoy my Valentine's massage present. Ooh, I can't wait! And as always, can't wait to finally meet you. 5 and a half weeks to go, it's the final countdown!

XOXO
Mommy

It's been much too long...

Hello Baby,

Mommy's missed writing to you SO much! Daddy and I have been keeping very busy preparing for your arrival. There was a lot of work that we needed to have done at the house to make it safe, sound and warm for you which displaced us for a while (looooong story), therefore the neglect, but everything is slowly coming together and at least we are now back home so we can make everything perfectly perfect for you.

Although I haven't had much time to write, please know that you've never been far from our hearts. I can not tell you how excited we are to meet you in just about 6 weeks time. Next week, we get to see you living in my belly 2 more times and then if all goes well, the very next time we see you, we'll actually really be SEEING you!! Yup, just 2 more ultrasounds to go.

On Monday, Dr C is going to check to make sure you're ready to take your journey out to our world and to make sure you're back in position (that's right, you've turned breech again. Daddy thinks you may have gone into position too early and got too dizzy with your head down so the rush of blood to your head made you sit straight up again). I've been feeling you and we've been seeing you, which is so freaky, so much that I think you've gone back - probably because you are just as excited to meet us. I hope so because I don't want them to have to manipulate you into position. Ouch!

Then on Wednesday, we have your last heart ultrasound. Yay! and Boo! So glad that it doesn't appear that you have any heart problems but that's where they do the 4D and since last time you weren't cooperative, this is our last chance to see see see your beautiful face in the womb. Oh, I hope you let us. If not, oh well, we get to look forward to seeing you every day for the rest of our lives. That's right - every day! Even if we're not together, we'll expect you to video call at least once a day LOL.

Since I've last written, I found out you're going to have a little neighborhood friend! Our friends right next door are expecting less than 3 months after us. So you will either have a bestie or a kissie buddy :)

And I can't wait to kiss you, hold you, hug you and love you!

XOXO
Mommy

Baby in 3D - Better Than Avatar

Hello Baby,

Wow, what a day we had!

This morning we had our last monthly visit with Dr C. He measured my belly and said you are one week ahead of schedule, then listened to your heart and said that you are head down, ready to enter the world. Also took my GD and iron tests - results tomorrow, fingers crossed! Now we go for regular check ups every 2 weeks. In 6 weeks, we have our final ultrasound.

Ah, so speaking of ultrasounds. Daddy came with me to our heart monitoring appointment and lucky him! We had the greatest tech ever! She showed us your beautiful face in 3D!!! Definitely not my nose :-)

Click on me then tell my Mommy & Daddy who you think I look like

Time is flying by, my 3 pound cabbage, seems like just yesterday you were a blob and now we can see your face so clearly. Before ya know it... I'm gonna be a Mommy... your Mommy... yay, can't wait! I'm SO excited!

XOXO
Mommy

The Year of My Baby

Hello Baby,

Happy 2011, my soon to be child! Finally, the year that you will grace us with your much anticipated presence and I for one, can not wait! Today I was thinking of how much I already love you and find it hard to imagine that when I meet you, my love for you is going to skyrocket!

Daddy and I were looking at my last ultrasound pictures from December 17, the visit where you waved at me before heading east, and the details of your face are incredible. Totally makes you seem so much more real. I mean, of course you're real, I feel you so much in a single day that's there's no denying you exist, but to actually get to see your face and think of who you will look like. Daddy and I have decided you're a mix of us, an elf and the Simpsons. Still appears that you have Daddy's forehead. And now, unfortunately, it looks like you have my nose - please let this picture just be from a bad angle or else I told Daddy we have to start saving up for a nose job. Strangely enough, looks like you have elf ears and the Simpson pout/chin - hoping these things can also be attributed to a bad pic. If anyone reading would like to cast their vote, including sex of the baby, please leave a comment, thank you :-)

Click to see a close-up of my face

And here's a view of you from the outside world taken today on New Year's Day morning.

I'm HUGE! I wonder how much bigger this belly is going to get. It's as if it's taken on a life all of it's own, which it kind of has I guess. That life, being you, my sweet child!

And speaking of life, on Monday I get to see you again... and also find out if I have gestational diabetes. I hope not, things are getting complicated enough without having to worry about that too. By complicated, I just mean that we are in the seventh inning stretch here and there's so much we have to do to prepare for your arrival.

Which I am eagerly awaiting! All I want to do is meet you, count your fingers and toes, and love you to pieces... this year, next year and for many many more years to come!

XOXO

Mommy